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Then?She wasn't sure. She must have drifted off in the total relaxation that had suffused through her body after their love making. It had been good, so wonderfully good.Again, she looked at her son. An impish urge to reach out and fondle the sleeping hose of his penis rushed through her. She resisted the impulse, letting her son sleep.Closing her eyes, she listened. From outside came the sound of birds singing in the woods. But she couldn't hear anyone moving around in the camp. It was almost noon. Where was everybody? Even if Jason and Liz had slept late, Frank was always an early riser.Frank!Memories flooded back into her mind. The hollow ache returned. But somehow it seemed more dulled than before. She smiled to herself. Perhaps in a week or two, it would be completely gone. She knew she would always have memories of Frank, a few good, mostly bad. But that was as it should be. To forget the hurt and the pain, that was the way it was supposed to be too.She glanced across the tent. Which I’ve found beats the hell out of having hope and then getting it crushed out of you time after time. The other part comes from being in chronic pain. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have one.Every now and then though, things ease up a bit. You don’t hurt so much. You’re mind is a little clearer and you find a smile on your face. That’s me at the moment. My head hurts and I had to leave work early because I went totally mute. But I’m not shaking and I don’t need my cane and my wife’s not crying or yelling at me. I feel relatively happy. I had a nap and a bowl of chili with some shredded cheese in it.Last night I was a little down and feeling envious which is an emotion I try to avoid like the plague. It’s almost as poisonous as bitterness which.
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