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The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.The conservative says, "Who stole half my water?"The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't.The physicist says that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air.The politician says that's not my glass, mine was bigger.The drinker says "Who's buying the next round?"The poor person says "I'd rather have a glass half-empty than no glass at all."The rich person says "You can have whatever water trickles over the edge"The drunk says: Which glass?The Plumber says: You've got a leak.This one is compliments of DonYou Might Be A Conservative if...You've named your kids "Deduction one" and"Deduction two."You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"You've ever tried to prove Jesus was. "She's really down, Doug, I've never heard her so low. I just don't know what to do." Well, how about her doctor. Dear Abby is always recommending people see their doctor when they're feeling down." She just misses a man being in her life. I think it's especially a certain part of a man that she misses the most. If you get my drift." Sex?" Bingo, give that man a prize. Yeah, I think Mom is missing a good fuck now and then." Well, she can hire a gigolo, a male prostitute. Women do, I've heard." Oh, come on, how impersonal is that. That's a dick, not loving." Yeah, I suppose you're right. Has she tried an online service to meet people?" She says she has and that it's a bit like a meat market. Most of the guys just wanted a quick fuck and a home-cooked meal. Not necessarily in that order, according to Mom." Well, maybe I can think of some guy at work." You know, Doug, there is a guy where you work that might just be the right one." Now, you don't mean Fred Winters, he's too old." No,.
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