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"Sorry man, we don't do returns," Johnny cautiously replied. "You get it, right? Most of our merchandise doesn't do so great on the secondhand market."Johnny winced at not-so-fond memories of customers trying to refund a toy after a weekend of pleasure. Whatever the hell this metal thing was, at least it did not seem like something that had been in the stranger's butt. It looked like some kind of... gravy boat? No, an oil lamp, like something you'd see on an antiques show. Maybe it was some kind of a fancy bong, Johnny could never fully comprehend the more complicated paraphernalia in the store."No returns. This is for you. For you!" He emphasized the final word with a dramatic flourish, pointing his bony finger at Johnny & trembling furiously.Johnny was more than a little freaked out, & fairly positive that a criminal and/or sorceror had just dropped a major piece of evidence for some unknown crime into his life. He knew that if he didn't act fast he could easily end up the final. I was expecting this, she had a habit of asking me to start things off. It came with the territory I think, of being the only 'rose among the thorns' so to speak. Today I was ready for her and when she asked to start the list off I didn't even have to think. On the drive to class the DJ had spun a Madonna track and of course being a not quite dead male I had Madonna's conical bra firmly in my mind.I started her list off, "Madonna's conical bra". Now I expected her to smile sweetly, roll her eyes, totally ignore my contribution and move on to the next victim. She did not do so; in fact she literally gushed, saying "A wonderful start to our list Sebastian" and wrote it up at the top of the blackboard. As teacher moved from victim to victim the list grew into something more akin to a tentacle demon. Luckily teacher began a hatchet job on said list, leaving fifteen items most of which had no obvious connections. She did of course leave in Alice's fopar '3 poufs and a piano'. Alice of.
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