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‘Why the hell not? At least you are here. I don’t know if you’d show if we arranged to meet later. You do a very good disappearing trick, Dad.’ ‘Stop calling me that, Grace. I’m not your dad, either biologically or any other way. We both know that.’ ‘Oh fucking really? You weren’t in any of those pictures of you and Mom being handed me in the hotel in China then? You weren’t there with all of us when we got Sophia, three years later? My last name isn’t yours? You weren’t the guy who taught me to ride my bike? Who taught me Aikido? Who consoled me when Brad dumped me? Who made me smoke that pack of cigarettes till I puked? Who hugged me when I was scared and sang to me when I was sick? None of that was you then?’ ‘Enough with the swearing young lady,’ John replied. ‘You are smarter than that.’ ‘See, Dad? You just can’t stop being my dad, even when you aren’t there.’ In an attempt to change the subject, John made a show of looking around and then asked, ‘No Sophia? She’s not with you?’. 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.And in closing...Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"NOW.
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