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However, I knew in order to make any money at this game I had to be able to talk to and interact with these women. So I developed a failsafe mechanism for me to picture them in a muumuu and fifty to a hundred pounds heavier. For years, public speakers have tried the trick of seeing their audience in their underwear to stave off stage fright. So I theorized that if it worked for them, this should work for me. And lo and behold it did. When some young thing leaned over in front of me and showed me some cleavage, I thought of a dairy cow and her udders and no more sexual thoughts or shyness. This system always worked for any beautiful woman until Lisa. The only picture that came into my mind with Lisa was her, and I, naked in bed and making love.Now you might think that at 21 and being the nerd to end all nerds, I would still be a virgin. Remember not all of these nubile young females that needed assistance were from rich families that I could get money from for helping them along their. They came to my rented room, dumped my hung-over ass out of my bed onto the floor and threatened to drag me to the bar in my boxers if I didn’t get dressed. Apparently if you promise an Irish friend that you will accompany him to a bar on St. Patty’s Day you must honor that promise no matter how hungover you are. No excuses allowed. It took a couple of hours for me to get the chance to talk to her. The bar was packed for St. Patricks Day and I lost sight of her. I figured she had left. Then fate stepped in. We were on the waiting list for a table for over an hour before one opened up. When the waitress led us over to our booth I had to grin. My group ended up at the booth next to theirs. Being the fifth man there I had a chair at the end of the table as my friends crowded into the booth. I eavesdropped on the conversation my dream girl was having with her friends and to my surprise the topic was blow jobs. My courage was high from the many green beers I had put away so I pulled off.
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