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I do not know. Lifting the beer bottle from between my feet, I took a swig and did my best to concentrate entirely on the taste of the beer. Alcohol is a dubiously effective way of forgetting, at best, and the taste of beer does nothing to really erase the thoughts that bother you. Yeast and hops cannot make you forget the sight of cocaine being freebased by a woman you have loved for three years. It does make a continuation of the living process slightly less difficult. Spoken like a true alcoholic. Maybe with a little practice… I would love to just up and judge myself a complete asshole for lacking the gumption to yell and scream and cause a scene, for lacking the ability to show up at her house every day and sit with her, talk to her, until she got disgusted enough with herself to quit on her own. It is, I think, too bad that life does not follow the same logic as the stories I write. If it were a story I had been thinking of, I would not have had such a dearth of strength. This. Jazzy opened the door to her apartment and went in. As she passed the entrance table, she dropped her keys on it and her purse on the floor under it. She carried the package and her phone with her to the kitchen and put them on the table while she got a glass of water. After drinking about half of it down, she put the glass on the table and reached for the package. Just as she did, her phone went off.“Hello,” she said, taking a seat at the table, moving the package around gently as if whatever was in it would tear the wrapping off and get her.“Hi Jazzy, this is John. Are you home?”“Yes, but I just had a super long day at work and do not feel like company tonight, sorry,” Jazzy told him, figuring that he wanted to come over even though they had a date on Friday.“No, that is not why I called. Did you get a package in the mail today?”“Yes, but how did you…” she started to ask when it hit her that it was he who sent it.“Good, now when you open it, you are to follow instructions exactly,”.
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