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"Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a humpbacked, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall."Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself." Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events, and won a Silver Medal in the boxing middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of..."Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to fuck off..."Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing. And he bravely let the story be told. "Another beer and one of those cherry... thing... stuff... drink!" Katie slurred over the counter. Her long, unkempt light brown hair fell into her face. The bartender rolled his eyes inwardly, but finished the drinks. She watched as two more drinks were added to her tab kind of added up, what she'd owe to her Angel of the High spirits. All in all it might be somewhat around 30 bucks. Katie reached into her backpack to see how much money she had. Her grip went into nothingness. Her wallet was not there. "ShitshitshitSHITSHITSHIT!!!!" she exclaimed. "FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK !!!"The bartender knew immediately what was going on."Let me guess ... no money, no ID, nothing to pay or identify yourself? Tough luck for you! But of course you'll just have to go home and be back in five minutes with money. Some people tried to pull that stunt here, but not on my watch. You stay here, I'll call the cops and then you explain that to them."He turned around and.
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