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It was so hard aboard a starship when you weren'tin a relationship. One bad decision and your reputation would be ruinedforever. Still, this was not the time to worry about that. She focused onher breathing and the steady up and down motion of her wrist. It was truethat she had put on a little weight in the last year or so. Maybe it waseasier to turn an officer's head with a tiny waistline. She stopped. Thethought had disturbed her. Was she no longer attractive?"Computer. Lights." The lights came up to full and Deanna lifted herself offthe bed and walked to the mirror. Shrugging her dress off she stood andlooked at herself completely naked and contemplated her figure. It wasdepressing. There were no two ways about it. Her legs and her butt werechubby. She could even see a little pot belly starting to form at her waist.She sighed. The diet starts tomorrow. Still, as mother always said "God nevercloses a door without opening a window."The extra pounds had certainly done no harm to her. Although I shamefully looked for him for no other reason than to convince myself that I was in control. At least that’s what I told myself.I got through the weekend without thinking about him too much. I had invited Diane to spend the weekend with me on Cape Cod. The two big S’s, Shopping and Sex always helped when I was upset.I was back at my desk Monday morning feeling refreshed and thinking Mrs. Collins was some kind of delusional Gypsy nutcase. Thinking I would believe he had already seduced three women. How could she possibly think that her fourteen year old son could seduce a dyed-in-the-wool lesbian? Okay so I kissed him. It wasn’t like I kissed his penis. Just the thought of kissing a man’s penis is repulsive to me.I have only seen two penises in my whole life. My brother’s because he was careless about shutting his bedroom door and that one time in college when I agreed to spend the night with a guy to see what it was like. We had intercourse twice and I only had one orgasm.
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