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" She let me out of my crib and followed me as I crawled out of the room. She told me to going into the front room, I did as I was told. When I was in there the girls stood around me and said that if I did not wet my diaper right now I was going to be in major pain. Then they started to chant, "Tammy needs diapers, she is a sissy baby slut, now piss Tammy piss." I was so embarrassed I tried to relax it was not working. I must have been taking to long because Jenn reached down and smacked my face. I concentrated harder, and finally I started to feel myself pissing my diaper. I tried to control the flow but I must have needed to pee more then I thought, because my pee started to come out so fast all the girls could hear me wetting my diaper. All the girls started to laugh. When I was done wetting my diaper I felt so ashamed. "Now Tammy usually we would change you before we start the day but since you left your crib with a dry diaper you will start your sissy training with a wet diaper,". . I think I started picking fights with you and stuff so I could just keep going. After a while, it didn't... I didn't feel so guilty anymore if I could blame you... you know?" I began to see everything a different. Every time you were short with me or didn't agree with me... whether it was real or imagined... it gave me an excuse to see one more thing in a bad light. It got to be easy to make myself the victim. I started seeing you as holding me back, pressuring me to be something I couldn't be. I saw you still weren't trusting me from the first affair and I began to resent it. I thought you were trying to control me."Then, in my mind, what I was doing wasn't so bad. I mean, if I made myself believe you were the bad guy, then how could I be at fault, right? It helped make my guilt a little less each time I did something I shouldn't. I needed that. I couldn't have kept on without it... and I had to keep on. It was like an... uh... a compulsion or something."I... I don't know what else.
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