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Um, you know.” Oops.Ms. Sloane tilted her head. Looking at me much like my mother and a certain aunt do from time to time. It’s a look that says ‘don’t dick around, tell me all.’ Or else.“Masturbate.” I sort of gushed it out, not a subject about which I now wished had never burbled to the surface, topic-wise... “Oh?”“She found out, discovered, porn. Taught Froggy and me how to surf ... and ... you know.”“And masturbate.”I nodded, somewhat reluctantly. No reason to birddog the same prairie time and again.Ms. Sloane looked at me speculatively, “And when Ms. McGovern wasn’t around?”“Huh?”“Did you and your Mr. Froggy continue your ... homework?”“Huh?”Ms. Sloane leaned back in her chair, crossed her arms. God, do women take classes in this?I stood straighter. “Hardly.” I looked away from her gaze, “Very rarely. Barely ever. Almost never.”Now I may not have been steering strictly between the guardrails. In fact, I may have careened over the side of the cliff if that’s the analog I’m. "Keep it down!" "You told me he looks like her,but it'll never work!" he said. "I could make him look like a girl, youknow I can make someone appear to be a member of the opposite sex, buthe'd have to be darn convincing to get a role as a girl, Lorraine.There's a lot more to pretending to being a member of the opposite sexthan just clothing, take it from me." "Let me take care of that, thistime," she said. "You take care of the look, I'll take care ofeverything else...!" Conrad raised an eyebrow. "What makes you thinkhe'll agree to this?" Lorraine thought for a moment. "He's a good guy,Conrad," she replied, "He'll want to do this, for the family's sake.I'll take him aside and propose it secretly. If he doesn't pull it off,it won't cause him any unnessecary embarrassment." "This really means alot to you, doesn't it, darling?" Conrad asked. "If this works,Conrad," she replied, "I'll marry you." He smiled, leaning back againsta fake palm tree. "Like that'll ever happen! Bring.
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