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Strange that I hadn't noticed the cupboard locked before.I unlocked it and, to no surprise, found a half-empty bottle of vodka and a glass with some clear liquid left in it, along with a book. I just let out a sigh and shut the cupboard, locking it once again. As I turned back to the drawer with the key, I noticed Kathy standing there. She looked like a trapped rat. I didn't say anything and started mashing the potatoes. I was shaking and I didn't want her to know.Finally, I had figured out what was going on. She had a hard time dealing with commitment. My coming back into her life represented everything she had tried to put behind her, and as a result, she immediately returned to the thing that caused all of her past problems -- drinking.I think it hurt more to know I believed in her so much that I thought her incapable of returning to the past. She was not as strong as I thought. I wanted to say something, anything to give me more time to digest what had just happened. While I. ."So what's the big sigh for? If you want to stop here and find someoneelse..."Chris sat and with an expression somewhere between pain and longinglooked at her face, switching from eye to eye, trying to 'feel' ananswer. She sighed again and smiled ruefully, " No Chris. I don't want to findsomeone else. You may not be perfect, but you'll do." She grinned andthen turned serious."No, I want to play with you. I was just wondering whether that would bewith 'Chris' or 'Christine'. It doesn't really matter but I admit tofinding Christine 'easier', I think. Chris has a distance and sadnessthat 'she' doesn't. But then I haven't really met her... So, it's fineeither way. And then I started thinking about friendships and bands andhow close is good but too close is disaster." She lapsed into silenceand Chris pondered things he'd heard and read."You mean your first manager I guess. That ended pretty badly, publicslanging matches and court cases for royalties and then an assaultcharge. Not much fun.
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