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Rosalie, I hope."Hi, who's this?" Rosalie." This is Charlene. Why am I giving her my first name? Where's Nick?" Er... he went shopping." What for? I left plenty of food for him." Er... he went to the drug store."Holy shit, they used up all the condoms I left for him."Well, it's nice to know that you two are smarter than most kids your age." Huh?... Oh, thank you."Well, she might be a great piece of ass but she's not a Rhodes Scholar."I'd like to meet you some time." If it's OK with you, I'll stay here until tomorrow evening. My parents are out of town and my sister is baby sitting me, but she doesn't care." See you then. Give Nick a big kiss for me." You betcha."Steve and I went through a lot of condoms that weekend; I began to wonder if I was in a contest with my son to see who could get laid the most. I went home early on Sunday afternoon, deliberately hoping to catch Nick and Rosalie in bed together.What's the matter with you, Charlene? Can't you let Nick get his rocks off in. Why we love children!!A kindergarten told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked.Because I just pissed in its ear and it didn’t move, answered the child innocently.“You did what?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “ you know,” explained the boy “I leaned over and went pssst into its ear and it didn’t move.”An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, how do you expect to get into heaven? He thought it over and said “well I will run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door, until St. Peter says, come in or stay out!It was that time during the Sunday morning service, for the children’s sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress, and as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said “that is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?” The little girl replied, directly into the pastor’s clip on microphone “yes.
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