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Virginity is like a bubble.One prick and it’s gone.If you don’t believe in oral sex... ... keep your mouth shut.Fixing the dentsOne day a Stepford Wife entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.The Stepford Wives went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when The Stepford Wife from across the street walked over and asked what she was doing?After hearing the whole story the second Stepford Wife pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down!”The Church GossipMildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s. She looks at me back. I say her name, quietly. She says, ‘Yeah?’ I leave a silence, and then say, ‘Come in here.’ With that, I walk toward my bedroom. She follows me in, and then I close the door. She watches it shut. ‘Look at yourself in the mirror,’ I say. The natural condition is to approach from behind, and as she stands there, a little perplexed by what I have asked, I stand behind her. She begins to turn her head to question me, but I nod toward the mirror: ‘No, keep looking at your reflection.’ Slowly my hands alight on her shoulders, rub decisively down the outsides of her arms, and cease their descent when they clench in on either side of her waist. I lean my head until my breath is on her ear. I whisper, hotly: ‘I have a confession to make.’ She is unused to this level of physical contact, but it is sinking in as to what the night has been and where it is going, and her voice is hushed when she asks ‘What?’ ‘I have wanted you—for years.’ An intake of breath on her part, and.
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