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." My wife was already looking on all the shelves."We're out!" my wife yelled from the kitchen."Ohh, sorry buddy!" I said, slapping him on the arm. "I guess you ate it all." Ahh, that's OK" he said, pouring himself another glass of wine.An hour later and we were opening a fourth bottle. We were all plenty drunk at this point."Is there any more of that blue cheese?" asked Todd."Ahh, buddy, I think we're going to have to call you a cab! We've been over that, and we're out." I said, jokingly."Oh, no, no more blue cheese?" said Todd in a rather drunk, pitiful voice. We all laughed. Then I had an idea."Todd, I think we have a special cheese that you can try, but we only save it for special occasions.." I said. I motioned to my wife to follow me into the kitchen."What are we going to do?" she asked, as the kitchen door closed."Bend over!" I said. "I'm going to put a little of your sweet ass cheese on a piece of french bread and we're going to watch him eat it!"My wife didn't need any. Sometimes there was the odd weirdo. You know, the sort who seek out places where the little children like to play hide and seek and the like; do I really have to spell out why? And of course to spy on the courting couples who came to the dunes for their own nefarious reasons.Anyway, part of my unofficial deal with the local police, was that I discouraged that kind from hanging around the dunes. All the local children — and young courting couples, I might add — knew that providing they stayed well out of my little corner, they could play safely amongst the dunes. They also were well aware that a shout - assistance - would bring me to investigate the disturbance. I'd often arrive at my hidey-hole to find the odd can of beer or lager left as an offering to placate the Dune God (read guard).Who this guy was and what he was doing there, I didn't know; but I had to be prepared for just about every eventuality."Mr Elks?" the man eventually asked with a thick European accent."Who's asking?".
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