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Lisa is funny. She reminds me so much of Jordan, though they look nothing alike.”“I think it’s their manner of knowing what they want and having a clear path to getting it.”Jeryl nodded. “I wish I knew what I wanted with that much clarity. How do you manage it?”I was surprised. “Me? You think I do that too?”“Definitely. Look at how you decided to go out for football. Look at how you focused on your car over the past nine months. Look at how you swayed my parents to let me go out with you again. You know what you want and you don’t let anything get in your way. It’s one of the qualities I really like about you.”I was dumbfounded. I had never thought of myself as being that focused. “Well, what do you want? Maybe I can help you get there,” I finally said.“I want to be a good daughter and a good friend and a good cheerleader and a good volleyball player and a good student and a good girlfriend.”“That’s a lot to be good at. What do you want to be great at?”The question brought her up. " She left me." Women carrying a man?s shame?"Silence fell between us for a few minutes, but I could practically hearher thinking over the city?s background noises of buses and trains."I don?t want somebody I love to feel controlled." If you love somebody, set them free." I worry myself sick you?ll find somebody else when we go to phase 2training. Somebody you can really... you know."Moving my hand down across her tight belly I let my fingertips restamongst her damp curls. "Just as you are." I kissed her. "We?ll betogether, every weekend we can and have amazing hotel sex."I couldn't be sure how reassured that made her, reassurance would comefrom actions not words, but in my mind at least time was something weweren't short of.In my mind I couldn't bear the thought of parting from her permanentlyeither. I thought I could do the work days when we'd have to live apart,we'd be sustained by messaging and video calls, counting days until theweekends. I'd never felt so comfortable with a.
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