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But the contrast between Jeff’s reasonably wealthy background and Bert’s poorer, blue-collar background had always been a sore point that occasionally caused friction.“Oh. Okay. So ... what, then?” Jeff asked.“Dunno, man,” Bert shrugged.“How ‘bout: loser has to get a tattoo that says, ‘I suck!’ On his forehead!” Jeff suggested with a broad, self-satisfied grin.“‘I suck’? What are you? Eight?” Bert refused.“Well okay, how ‘bout: loser has to ... loser ... No, wait. Winner has to ... ah, shit! Loser ... uh...” Jeff babbled, trying to compose a new wager on the fly.He didn’t notice his girlfriend rolling her eyes at his stupidity.“Winner gets to drive the loser to the hospital,” Paul muttered bitterly under his breath. He’d only been speaking to himself, but Marcy overheard the remark and instantly broke into a hysterical giggle.“Shut up, Marcy,” Jeff offhandedly chided her as he tried to concentrate on his problem.The moment he said her name, Bert had an epiphany.“Well, how ‘bout this,. My Uncle Jerome had scripture on his side, or at least so he said. There were certainly enough of the Old and New Testament characters that had more than one wife, and as he was fond of repeating, scripture did say to be fruitful and go forth and multiply. In his church a woman wasn't fit to be married to a "real man" until she'd had a child by Uncle Jerome, and best by her sixteenth birthday. Almost all women in the church had been "brought to the faith" by Uncle Jerome -- that meant they'd had sex with him on or about their twelfth birthday.He spoke to me simply. "Brother David, all you have to do is drive a school bus from Texas to Arizona; it's not even a full-size bus -- it's more like a large van, Brother David. You will have to stop for gas three times -- you'll have a debit card and the Maidens of the Faith can get things from the mini-marts at each stop. It won't be a problem, Brother David." And how many maidens will there be on the bus?" I tried not to gag on the word.
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