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I would like to see if I could do that again, once I learn to trust you, if I can. You made me see that love could be a great addition to my life. Then you made me see that love can also be a smokescreen to the worst aspects of a person’s life. When I thought you loved me, I had never been so happy. I think I got addicted to that happiness.”“Jos, Lissa, Diana you each made me feel things I had never felt, but I don’t know if it was real or a lie. And that was the core of my issues with my mom. I didn’t understand the concept of husband and wife love when my dad and I caught her. All I knew was that my dad and I had trusted her to be a certain person and she lied. A mom lying to her child is about as bad as it can get, in my mind.”Sasha looked up at me through red, tear-filled eyes.“Mick, I do love you and I understand the trust issue. When we get home, I would love to be able to date you. But no sex until I feel that you really trust me.”“Sasha, I agree. I don’t plan on having sex. She called out to me again. I banged the door shut and booted it.Rather than go to my friend’s house I changed direction towards the lake. It was time to think.“She’s fabulous looking”, I thought. I wondered why she went after me when she could have anyone she wanted. I thought a lot about the man in her room, and especially the risk she took. “Jesus if my Dad knew, he’d kill her”.It was only then I remembered that my Dad was away for a few days. While I like my Dad a lot I never spent anytime with him. He only ever asked me about my school work. His particular question was how I ranked in my class. To this day, I hate comparing and ranking people.I thought about how long I remained awake in my room. I never did hear the exit of her man. In different circumstances I would have considered my father as her amorous visitor. But that was impossible. Hashing and re-hashing the possibilities wasn’t getting me anywhere. But I couldn’t get it out of my head. Disappointed as I was, I wondered.
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