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I was very tense, frightened of what would happen. Lena said she’d go down first and look for a sign from Mike so she tentatively went downstairs. She must have seen him almost immediately because she turned and whispered, ‘It’s all right, he’s done it.’ Well, it really is impossible to describe exactly how I felt at that moment. All my tension dissipated and I felt light-headed, silly really, as if I was walking on a cushion air. I felt deliriously happy and I had to take a few moments to compose myself before going down. When I did I saw Lena in Guy’s arms and heard the last bit of her teasing. I shooed her away, I wasn’t annoyed, and kissed him, kissed him properly. I looked at Lena, then back at Guy. Would he mind? I felt I had to say thank you to Mike. I loved him then, perhaps just a little bit more than usual. He had made all this possible hadn’t he? Guy didn’t look too bothered so I literally threw myself into Mike’s arms and kissed him. This kiss was my most provocative. He. .. lost.” I swallowed thickly.He held me tighter and kissed my forehead. “And now they’re gone. I’m so sorry, love.”Relieved that he understood – that maybe I wasn’t totally crazy – I buried my face in his shirt and let the tears flow one more time. Of everyone we knew, I thought Alistair might understand what I was going through the most; his parents had loved him and yet not been around either, and he had only someone else’s word for it. When we get back to Ferelden, I’m going to find someone to track down his mother if it’s the last thing I do.We sat together until suppertime, cuddling and reading each other snippets from the journal. There were a few tears and a lot of laughs, and all of it was bearable with Alistair holding me like he’d never let go. Avanna finally came crashing through the underbrush – extra loudly and slowly, which made Alistair and I both start laughing uproariously – to inform us that if we wanted to meet Aedan and Zevran for dinner, we needed to get.
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