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As part of the groom’s party, Stephen yanked on the collar of his shirt thinking that somewhere in this world lived a sadist who was laughing evilly at the success his diabolical scheme for making men miserable through the instrument of torture known as a tuxedo. The only one who looked more miserable than he felt was Leland. It was unclear if the source of Leland’s unhappiness was the tuxedo, the lecture on how to have a happy marriage being delivered by Magus, or a combination of the two.“The correct answer to the frequent question, ‘Does this outfit make my butt look too big?’ is ‘All I know is that it makes me want to play with your butt all day.’ While saying that, you should firmly grasp said butt and knead vigorously,” Magus said. “Not only does it deflect the question, but it can lead, on occasion, to sex.”Oscar chimed in with, “Do not ever make the mistake of saying that there are some cultures that appreciate a well developed derriere while holding up a figurine of a woman. I planned to spend a good part of the night rubbing arnica into our bruises. But the act of sparring took us both to a different place in our heads. It was exercise, fighting, ballet, and foreplay all in one. And this time, we were fighting to create a sense of mystique and protection around our friends. No one would know how many of us were trained or what the colors of our gis and belts meant. That they had nothing to do with martial arts was nobody's business but our own.As we became more and more warmed up, we moved faster and faster. And then, I discovered that Whitney still knew things that I did not.I swear the punch she threw never touched me. It wasn't even a punch. Her hand shot out toward my chest, palm facing me. The impact hit me way before her hand did. It lifted me off the floor and I came down hard on my butt with my mouth open staring at her.Whitney had mastered air.I didn't bounce up as fast as Coach Phillips had when Master Cho put him down. Coach Hancock's whistle.
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