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... ‘I’ve had a look in a couple – we just take a photo of me wiv me tits out, send it in and wait for replies’. By now, my jaw was almost on the floor!!‘Are you serious?’ I really couldn’t believe what I was hearing.‘Yep. Got ya camera?’ I had.....So, we decided to ‘go for a walk’... and took my camera. When we got over to the field alongside her house, Fiona led me to a small copse beyond some trees and promptly whipped her top off to reveal her gorgeous, and bra-less, boobs. She stood in a few provocative poses and when I thought we had enough to get one good photo we went back. Later that evening, in her bedroom we wrote out an advert, filled in the form in the back of the mag, put everything in an envelope and when I went home, I popped it in a letterbox and we waited....It took two months for our ad to appear in the magazine! And then, all of a sudden, the replies started coming in.... and BOY! Did they come in!! We got about 30 letters back, all with photos – many of them VERY. “I can’t make stove top coffee the way you all do because I never learned everything someone needs to know to make it that way.” I pointed at the coffee maker on the counter. “That’s how I learned to make coffee.”We sat silently for several minutes sipping coffee and eating popcorn while they processed everything they had heard and seen. Eventually though my nerves got the better of me.“As you have all probably guessed, none of this was made anywhere around here. That’s not quite accurate. It’s really of question of when it was made rather than where.” From their looks it was clear I was stumbling with my explanation. “Let me try this again. I’ll start off saying almost everything you think you know about me, except my name, is probably wrong. The first time I met Great Grandfather Garcia, he said that I was an old soul in a young body. He was more correct than anyone suspected. I am not the nineteen-year-old you believe me to be. The best as I can figure, I am seventy.”I stopped.
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