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Here Water!”The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the M42 near Birmingham recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout. ” They walked back on their floor together. “So what’s with the polo neck?” Her question was innocent enough and he felt the relief of not needing to lie. “Well Stella, I thought you might know.” “Sorry?” With barely enough to time to register her reply, a figure came into view making their way towards them. He could see that she had taken one look at him and her displeasure was clear, his contravention of the dress code was not going to go unnoticed. “Oh fuck, the boss,” he hissed under his breath. As the sound of her footsteps drew near, it was impossible to avoid eye contact any longer. “Hello Cass, how are you today?” he brazenly ventured. “Hello Rory, your attire seems to be out of place, my office please.” “Later Stella.” As Cass turned tail back to her office, he offered an impudent smile behind her back towards Stella. Feeling a deflated sense of the inevitable, he followed Cass to her office. Always immaculately presented, Cass expected the same from her staff. She was.
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