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Ecstasy maybe.”“Damn,” I said. “You were twelve?”“It was getting dark and people were leaving. I hadwalked over, just a few blocks, so I hung aroundtalking to people and stuff. Then this boy I didn’tknow came up and put his arm around my shoulders.” Sheblinked at me. “I didn’t even know him, and I think hewas older.” She sniffed. “He kissed me and I let him.”I kept my eyes on the road but I knew she was crying.“And he and another guy, a bigger boy, older too,maybe fifteen or something, they led me back to thisshelter and took away my shirt and started pushing meback and forth between them, pawing at me and pinchingand stuff, pulling the straps off my shoulders. Afterthat, I kind of lost track, but then I remember seeingmy new bathing suit hanging from the diving board andthis boy had his hands under my knees and wasspreading my legs and smiling at me, pushing my legsback and. Our families and teachers pitted us against each other in all forms of academics.One would win one contest; another would win the next and so on. John and I had a tug-of-war over a girl named Linda. Neither of us won her but she certainly had a good time playing us against each other.I did have my first in a lifetime love at this time. Her name was Carol. I dated her a long time in high school and we would make out and cuddle. She was the first girl I ever touched as a "girl". It happened at the movie theater and I was scared shitless. Once I got my arm around her, I didn't know what else to do and left it there so long my arm was numb when the movie was over.To show what a naïve kid I was back then, I wrote this god awful poem about my love for her. It was probably the worst writing of my entire life. It's a wonder she didn't vomit reading it.I remember one night we went to the drive-in and somewhere in our making out, her belt broke. No — I never had sex with her. She was too.
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