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" Oh no! I'm really sorry, Miss Polly. I had a really rough fall and completely forgot to call." A rough fall?" Oops. I didn't want to go into all that with Miss Polly. Better to lighten it up."Yes. All my girlfriends broke up with me and I started eating everything I cooked. I weigh in at 250 now and can hardly get out of the house." There was silence on the other end or the line. I just don't know when to keep my mouth shut. "I'm kidding, Miss Polly. I don't weigh 250. Yet." Brian." She sounded pained. "Did all your girlfriends break up with you? That's terrible." It was just a misunderstanding. And it was temporary. I'm sorry I'm in such a weird mood today. All I can say in my defense is that I'm a teen." You see, that's what's been missing with the others. A sense of humor." Others?" When you didn't call, the studio pressured me to audition other candidates for our young adult segment. None of them had a sense of humor. Oh, they were fine cooks and could speak intelligently, but. It was a Saturday night, long after dinner. We were all hanging out separately. Jill had a small t.v. and compact stereo in her bedroom, plus a stack of magazines she wanted to catch up on. Steffi was in her room. Distant swells of Love you baby / With all my heart type songs kept drifting down the hall from her jambox--but just barely, as Jill had already banged for her to turn it down twice.Me, I was sitting on the sofa watching some stupid old fucking movie on t.v. Drinking a few beers and thinking about what a stupid fucking loser I was--sleeping on my sister's sofa. I'd quit tracking the movie, so I stood up and went down the hall to the bathroom. I had a long and loud horse piss. And while I did, it was like the horse metaphor gate opened fully: I heard the light gallop of a filly down the hall outside my stall door.I finished up, and then headed into the kitchen for another beer. Steffi was already there, staring into the opened refrigerator. She was wearing this tiny pink top.
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