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I secretly wished he had asked me a couple days ago when I didn't have a date for tonight. Oh Well. When I arrived home that night I saw that my three k**s Jake, a strapping 15 y.o. and his older brother, Sam,22, (a result of a college quicky) and his younger sister Amanda who is just 12 going on 30, by the way she acts and talks. I heard Jake asking his brother to please buy him and a couple of his friends some booze for tonight and that they promised to be of no problem. When I came in the door the conversation stopped, or at least dropped down to a lower level of speech and I could only make out bits and pieces of Jake begging his brother to do this tiny favor for him, and that Jake promised he would get one of his friends to take care of Sam. Or at least thats what it sounded like waht was going on. I told them both that if they were planning something that involved alchohol that there would be NO ONE leaving the house and that even Sam would have to stay home. I got some. I tried to act like I understood but I didn't. I only knew I was never going to get that affection, again." In fact I tried, even acting up and swearing at him later. But he never spanked me again, and he never let me hug him for more than a few seconds, and standing up, at that."I just shook my head ... a selfish question came to mind. How is it I attract all these 'needy' women?"Karin, there must be millions of women who have gone through something like that." Yeah, Jake, I'm sure there are and I'm sure a fair number of those are just as screwed up as I am!" Well, yes, I suppose so ... but because of their mothers?"She smiled with a tinge of bitterness on the corners of her lips and in her eyes."That's the kicker, Jake. I seldom got any affection from Mom. She would give me a hug every now and then but only for a brief second, then she would push me away." I could see tears starting to form."Jake, remember that was the fifties. It turns out that I had all the bad luck in the world.
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