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I had been stood up by friends who had promise we would go grab dinner at a local restaurant. I wasn't mad, just disappointed. I had looked forward to the dinner as a welcome distraction from my deep down thirst to be subjugated, humiliated, degraded by white men. This deep down thirst had started to surface a year ago and I had done everything possible to ignore it. I had worked three jobs, volunteered and learned how to play several musical instruments, just so I didn't act on it; Just so I didn't feel it swallowing me little by little; just so I can keep an air of respectability. I knew it would be a matter of time before my wall would come down and I lived in fear of it. So on this particular night, when my friends cancelled our plans at the last minute, they may as well have allowed me sink with the Titanic. They wouldn't have done it on purpose, and I could have struggle just a little harder, but alas I was on my way down, stuck deep down the bowls of the ship. It all began at. I turned and faced Harry. "But you, Ledbetter." I gave a great sigh, a mixture of disbelief and resignation. "Never in a million years would I believe you capable of doing this to me."Harry hung his head, shamefaced, and I thought of the old saying 'A standing prick has no conscience'. It could have been used by him as mitigating circumstances, but he was my closest and most trusted friend; he knew what a sacrilege he had committed by fucking a comrade's wife.I turned and left, out of the apartment, out of their lives.As I waited for the lift Suki called plaintively behind me. "Come back, David. We need to discuss this like adults."The lift arrived, and as I entered I heard Suki's last, despairing, cry as the door closed behind me. "For God's sake, Dak, it was only a fu..."I never saw either one of them again.I took the lift to the underground garage and got into the Porsche. Although I was the titular owner of the vehicle Suki got the most pleasure from driving it.I started the.
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