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Bring me another beer.’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.”Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: “The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.”Al. No more, and no less. If you lose control and do something I didn’t tell you to do, you’re out. If you don’t want to do something I tell you to do, all you have to do is say so, but then you’re out. The last person out is the winner, and they get a special prize. Is that okay with everyone?”Everyone agreed, and I got a vibe from Becky that told me she was getting wet just from the expectation.“Oh, there is one thing I better ask before we start,” I said as I came back over to them with a lawn chair and sat down. “Does anyone mind if I enjoy the sun while we are doing this?”I had no objections, so before anyone could question the reason I asked, I stood up and pulled my shorts and boxers off. I could see the amusement in Nancy’s eyes while the others shocked faces melted into wry smiles or looks of curiosity. I could feel that everyone expected me to order them to strip at some time during the game, which I was.I quickly checked on our watchers, finding the two girls scoping me out.
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