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JONAH:The original 'Jaws' story.JUSTICE:When kids have kids of their own.KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)MAGI:The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.MANGER:Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO.(The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)PEW:A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.PROCESSION:The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.RECESSIONAL:The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.RELICS:People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by DavidLetterman.USHERS:The only people in the parish who don't know the. “Welcome to our guaranteed disease free club,” said Piet. I mentally gave a sigh of relief.Once we were booked in, Marie escorted us to our room. As we left the reception area, Marie slipped off her t-shirt and walked naked in front of us. Her swaying ass cheeks, her long legs and the sides of her large pendulous breasts caused a stir in my pants. Lorraine squeezed my hand, signalling her own arousal. This promised to be an unforgettable holiday.In our room, Marie turned around and flopped down on the queen size bed. “Please make yourself at home,” she said, opening her legs to show us her shaved pussy. My cock sprang to attention. I never suspected South Africans could be so blatant about their sexual intentions. Marie didn’t stop there. She inserted two fingers into her wet pussy and slowly grinded her clit against the palm of her hand.Lorraine was the first to recover from her shock and dropped to her knees between Marie’s legs. I could see how Lorraine removed Marie’s hand and.
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. Besides, don't you think I would have thought of the 'Hey, I'll get you drunk as a skunk on the best wine ever, won't take any kind of advantage tonight while you sleep it off, BUT, after I make you breakfast in the morning and you're sober again; you've got to blow me as payment...' gambit? Nope, it's a Curse, not a superpower, you can't make it useful that easily. So yeah, I've very rarely been able to get laid in the past 12 years, and each one was basically a one-time-deal, except Candy, and Candy was: well... Let's not talk about Candy, to quote 'Hotel California' "Some Dance To Remember, Some Dance To Forget." Look, I DON'T want to talk about Candy! There are some things that are better left forgotten, dark chapters of my history I would rather be left on the cutting room floor of memory instead of endlessly dredged up and played back like some kind of corpse trial of my mistakes and failures of judgment! Can we please just move on? Okay, Thank you. As I was saying, I've been.

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