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I wouldn’t enter conversations where she was, and would leave those when she arrived. Sometimes I could control myself enough to speak, so I don’t believe she ever knew I was keeping her at a distance. It took quite a while, but one day it seemed I had accepted. That I had come to grips with my want and loss. We simply became people who knew each other, and were friends. I no longer stayed away from her and we talked a lot. But last night I had a dream. Unusual for me, to have a dream I remember. More unusual to have another person in it. The other person was her, of course. It started with me looking over her shoulder as she sat at a desk. She was writing something. A story as it turned out, for the next moment we were the characters in it. She was an intelligence agent, an important and skilled one. I was the same, retired but I had been her mentor many years before. I had left the business because I couldn’t handle my feelings for her. They were endangering us both. I don’t. Samantha was a beautiful redhead and was in her mid 30’s. We got on well, I got liquored up and Samantha offered me a ride home. Bj said be careful but I thought, “what could happen”?. Sam took me to her house. We talked, drank some more and Samantha kissed me. A deep “ we are getting ready to get busy” kiss. I felt her cock press against my thigh. I back away and said I don’t do that and she said I did not have to do anything. In the back of my mind I wanted to see the cum shoot out of her cock but I was “gay”. I had a raging hard on, but I wasn’t gay, I kept saying to myself. Samantha turned out the lights and undressed me. Fondled and caressed me. She started to suck my dick. No the way a girl does it. Like someone who had a cock of their own and know just what to do. She brought me to the edge several times, when I finally cum it was the best orgasm I had ever had. I was cumming, she was using her tongue underneath my cock head. Unbelievable!!I told her that I was not going to.
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