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She had been hiding away, cowering, however one wanted to say it. It was stupid, too, she thought as she turned on the water. All of the people she'd known with Ben had been her friends as well. Depriving herself of their company and comfort was just an exercise in self-flagellation.As the water ran over her, she composed another letter.Dear Ben,So here it is, almost time for the party. Neil's going to pick me up; I guess he and Sharon thought I'd back out. I guess I can't blame them, I've done it before. They weren't taking any chances this time.I didn't realize I was letting my feelings show so much. I thought I was doing a good job of hiding them, but it turns out I've been wearing it all on my sleeve, however unfashionable that may be. But I was never one for fashion, was I?I found the red dress, the one I never got a chance to wear for you, you idiot. You left before I could. This is usually such a glamorous evening for most people, and I should wear it, but it's not glamorous. Then if it`s a possibility the partner arranges to do sexually whatever it is on that birthday weekend, We can each have two requests, one for yourself and one for your partner, neither can be refused....now that needs trust believe me as there are no limits, though we have a safe word if things get too painful. The one for your partner is to be swapped with your opposite number on a postcard a month before; the one for yourself is in a sealed envelope giving exact instructions and opened either on the day or on the first day of the weekend that`s your choice. This year my day is the Saturday and we take turns yearly as to who`s first hers naturally this year is the Sunday. Now that all may seem like a good sexy idea but it can lead to some bizarre happenings and fall-out or aftertaste, we have been together 7 years now and we have had 4 birthdays using this method since we started to become shall we say sexually adventurous. The first year was pretty tame, just swapping with.
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