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"Mrs. Foster, what are you doing here?" M.J. demanded of her neighbor from across the alley"I ... I ... came to borrow a can of beef stock if you have it."Seeing that it couldn't be undone what was done M.J. said, "Come in and I will get you a can." Knowing her husband would be home any second she quickly got the can from the cabinet and handed it to Mrs. Foster at the same time pushing her toward the back door. The three knocks came as M.J. was twisting the handle to open the door. Mrs. Foster took one look at Donald and fled through the back gate."Oh, my god. I can't believe this happened. She knocked three times and I thought it was you. I flung open the door stark naked. That woman is the town tattler. By morning all the neighborhood will know that I greet my husband naked." By nightfall and a bottle of wine they were laughing about it. Poor Mrs. Foster, being greeted by a horny naked housewife.All the next week M.J. expected someone in the neighborhood to mention the incident,. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to givethis thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.Am I wrong?So, there I sat! in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.The directions said that:a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; anda three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.I'm sitting there.
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