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As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.-Phyllis DillerHousework can't kill you, but why take a chance?-Phyllis DillerCleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.-Phyllis DillerThe reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.-Phyllis DillerBest way to get rid of kitchen odours: Eat out.-Phyllis DillerA bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.-Phyllis DillerI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.-Phyllis DillerMost children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.-Phyllis DillerAny time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.-Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.-Phyllis. He took a long drag on his cigar. “Yeeears of practice.” “I wanna be a stud like you,” Carson said, coiling Armisen’s chest hairs through his fingers absent-mindedly, counting the grey ones. It sounded stupid when he said it, childlike, but he wasn’t afraid to be honest with the guy. “Shut up. You are a stud.” “I mean, like you…” “It’s just confidence,” Armisen said, shrugging. “Well I’m still working on that,” Carson said, rubbing his knee nervously. “It’ll come to you. With time. And experience.” Carson sighed. “So you fuck a lot, huh?” Armisen shrugged. “If I’m lucky. I travel a lot, so I meet a lot of people.” Carson remembered the sound of one of his “people” back at the Bravard, big-boobed and screaming. “But you prefer women?” he asked, picking a handful of chips and crunching down. “No, I wouldn’t say that,” said Armisen, looking down. “I just have more experience with women.” “You told me you don’t like most guys,” Carson recalled. Armisen turned to look at him. “I don’t.
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