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To have them both together ... now that was a luxury.“He hasn’t asked me,” I said, which was the truth—he hadn’t.“That dumbass,” Janie muttered.“Janet, “ Elena said sharply.“I’m sorry but he is! Like, Celine is such a freaking catch, Mom! Hell, I’d marry her,” Janie said passionately. She turned to me, grinning. “Will you, Celine Sofía Gutierrez, marry me?”“I’m no pedophile.”“I’m almost eighteen! Marry me then?”“I’ll think about it.”Elena looked amused but wary. I was clearly up to the challenge of dealing with her rowdy daughter, but at what cost? Janie was corrupting me, and she could see it happening right before her eyes.“What will you do if he gets the Johns Hopkins fellowship?” Janie asked, suddenly sounding serious.I shrugged. “FaceTime, I guess.”“You won’t dump him?”I tried not to look pained. It hurt. Of course I wouldn’t dump Wes.“Janet,” Elena said with an even sharper tone than before. “Apologize to Celine. That was rude.”“I’m sorry,” Janie said immediately. “I wasn’t. She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking great. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Claus with “Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.As the woman is getting dressed the guy asks, “If you don’t mind, would you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”She said,” I’m sick and tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.”President Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all.They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the.
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