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Suddenly, the feeling of anxiety Jennifer had experienced earlier returned. She assumed it was jealousy. That would indeed be an unfamiliar feeling to her.I've never had to compete with another woman for Mike's love or attention. Never been jealous, never been worried that Mike might stray.Ever since Black Sunday, though, Jennifer had seen threats everywhere. She tried to reassure herself that despite Mike's current coldness, he still loved her deeply and could never have feelings for another woman. However, the faith she'd previously held was badly shaken.Despite how much I love Mike, I developed feelings for James. I didn't mean to, didn't want to, but it happened. I didn't understand it at the time, but after I learned the truth about James—well, obviously it was manipulation. It wasn't my fault.Jennifer's anxiety spiked. She felt a throbbing in her head, like something was trying to break out, escape. Rather than let it come to her, though, Jennifer tried to fight it off.Anyway,. We discussed what had happened the following day, and Lindsey apologized but I told her it really didn't matter. She hadn't actually done anything, and even if she had done something I would have forgiven her. Lindsey looked at me incredulously, and I explained that I loved her so of course I would forgive her. She still seemed unconvinced so I added that I sometimes felt bad about her only ever sleeping with me. I had been with several girls before Lindsey, but to date I was still her only partner.Lindsey insisted as she had done before that she didn't want anyone else, and I believed her. If she had wanted to do something, she would have done it the night before. How would I have ever known? She asked me if I was mad at her for letting them touch her up and I told her not to be so silly. Lindsey finally seemed happier and we let it go after that, but the entire incident had brought something to my attention. Something not about Lindsey, but about me.I had realized that I wanted her.
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