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Ha! Even if I had been able to hoodwink Jeff into coming, his most incisive comment would have been, ‘It’s white.’ The most fun part of the excursion for the others came when I asked, ‘Does this look alright on me?’ Jen was the first to break out in laughter, but the others followed immediately. ‘The only thing I’ve ever seen you wear that might not have looked alright on you was that hideous getup you wore to my summer reading class so my students wouldn’t be aware of how hot you were. Even then you had to put on makeup to play down your appearance. ‘If you’re going to ask us for an evaluation, the question ought to be: How wonderful do I look in this on a scale of nine to ten, all lower numbers being impossible to attain.’ When I tried on another dress I asked, ‘Does this make me look like the most beautiful bride in the history of marriage or only the runner up?’ In the end it was unanimous: I did not look like the runner up. The first week home I went twice for a fitting. Nothing. Then I guess all the stuff with the van Dorns went down, and then Liz went to the clinic and the Orosco woman said stuff to you. Or maybe you told her of your concern. Whatever happened, it spiraled out of control. And it’s destroying our family.”“Mom,” Liz said. “Mikey never, ever touched me except for hugs. It’s true. I tried to tell Doctor Orosco but she kept saying I wasn’t being honest with her. I was, Mom! And now Doctor Zeiss is saying the same thing! That I had sex with Mikey and I’m trying to protect him. I didn’t, Mom!” She was crying now. “I didn’t! Why won’t you believe me?”“That is the question, Rachel,” Dad said gently. “Why you won’t believe your own kids.”“You mean the two that ran off together?” Mom asked, snidely.I sighed deeply, “And except for when we were in my car, I was never alone with Liz for one second. Not one. I’ll give you Mrs. Landers’ phone number. I slept in Nancy’s bed. I was in my pajamas and Nancy was in her sleep shirt, by the way. Liz slept on the.
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