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What I wanted to say is that women dont think logically like a man would, Richard. They think with their emotions. They only use reason to justify how theyre feeling. Im not sure I understand. Im no expert on women, but I have learned a few things. If youve appealed to a womans emotions, youve got the competition beat even if theyve given her cash and diamonds. Ive given Nora plenty of cash and diamonds so you may have a point there. Are you saying I should tell her I love her more often? I tell her that every day. I bet you pet the dog too. What do you mean by that? I mean Nora has heard you say it so often it probably doesnt mean anything to her any more. You have to say it differently, in a way that appeals to her dreams and fantasies. Im afraid Nora hasnt confided her dreams and fantasies to me in a very long while. It shouldnt matter. Womens dreams and fantasies are pretty generic. I mean like a guys fantasies are pretty much the same too, sex, drugs, rock and roll. I learned. "It's going on our coffee table. Our husband is a celebrity! Is America a great country or what?"Andrew said, "I haven't owned a copy of Playboy since college. Some guy I knew had a vintage collection of Playboys that must have covered ten years of issues. For some reason he didn't want to take them with him when he graduated, so he sold me the whole batch." I knew exactly what I wanted to do with them. Did you ever see that painting "American Gothic" by Grant Wood – a dour old farm couple standing in front of their house, the man with a pitch fork, the woman looking like Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies? I bought a print of that painting and hung it on my wall in the dorm. I scoured through ten years of Playboy centerfolds till I found one that was just the right size and just the right pose. Then I cut out the girl's body, cut off her head, and pasted it under the head of the old lady in the painting. I don't know, I just thought the farmer looked happier after that."Everyone.
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