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“No sir, God simply said ‘You are what you are’.”St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra “Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.”The zebra asked St. Peter “How do you know that for certain?”“Because” said St. Peter “If you were black with white stripes, God would have said “You is what you is...”For three years, the young attorney had been taking his vacations at this country inn. The previous year he’d finally managed to close the deal with the innkeeper’s daughter.Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, and then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!“Helen, why didn’t you write when you learned you were pregnant?” he cried. “I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!”Well” she said “when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin’ and talkin’ and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a. My sister had themeasles and my brother had the mumps. What happened to me?I got both at the same time!To the hospital I went and on the pediatrics ward in aprivate isolate. Not a private room mind you an isolate!What is an isolate? A fairly large room with a huge windowin it right next to the nurse?s station where everybodypassing by, and everybody did pass by, can see right in!I had to have IV's in both arms and was tied in bed. Yup,arms were tied down and I had this vest thing that strappedme down in the bed. Because of this the nurses decided itwould be much easier to keep me in diapers than to have tokeep giving me a bed pan or urinal. I HATED THAT! I wasproud I was potty trained and did not want to be put backin diapers.The nurses won of course and it was soon discovered I wasallergic to the disposable kind of diapers. That made itallot worse for me! They put me in multiple layers of thickcloth diapers and plastic pants which they all referred toas "MY PLASTIC PANTIES!"So, with.
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