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Shriek in terror when that cold glob of K-Y hits your clinched chute. And try not to crack that nice joke, you know, the one where your doc’s getting your cherry and you haven’t even kissed. Listen closely as ignores you, try not to worry that he’s already heard that one four times today, and hope he has a good sense of humor. As the cold K-Y runs down your legs the guy is actually going to have the temerity to tell you to relax. Right. Like that’s really going to happen. At this point your replaying every XXX anal fisting video you’ve ever seen, and just now breaking out in a cold sweat. You say you haven’t seen one of those videos? Well hell, Paco, you just got no clue what’s coming your way, do you? Hang on tight, and… Enjoy. Those. Last. Few. Moments. Before… …the first finger goes in, because unless you’ve been living with a dominatrix for the past fifteen years (sorry, not in my job description) you’re in for a fun surprise. Hopefully you’ll not have to endure much more than. ’ ‘We’ll see. After we skate a bit, we’ll have lunch – on me – and we’ll trade war stories,’ he said as he stood up, helping me to my feet. I prayed that I didn’t fall down too often. It had been twenty-five years since I’d last been on skates and I didn’t want a sore butt. Taking advantage of his help, I stumbled onto the ice and clumsily began to move. He skated backwards in front of me slowly, as though he were just out for a stroll. ‘You’re doing great,’ he encouraged. ‘I haven’t fallen and been cut to sausage, you mean,’ I said, windmilling my arms to keep what little balance I had. Then an eight-year-old menace blew past me at warp four, dressed from head to toe in blinding fuchsia. At this rate, I’d be lucky to survive. ‘Graceful, I’m not. How did I let you talk me into this hare-brained idea?’ ‘It’s my smooth negotiating skills.’ ‘Hah! You threw me over your shoulder and carried me off,’ I objected. ‘How smooth is that?’ ‘You’re here, aren’t you?’ he asked with another.
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