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I needed release and couldn’t get enough satisfaction from my fingers or toys. As much as I attempted to keep the lust demons at bay, they lurked everywhere. The next few days were chaotic for me, and I’m very glad I’m the boss. I would cloister myself in my office while at my store spending most of the time fantasizing. I stopped by the coffee shop each time I was in the city hoping that my admirer would be there. I was determined to act out my fantasy of letting him take me in an alley or the bathroom. It could even be on the table in front of the windows at that point, I didn’t care I just needed a real cock inside of me. He never showed. My wardrobe became more frilly and lighter and thinner with each passing day. I’m sure that reality is quite different but I imagined my mode of dress akin to Stevie Nicks’ stage clothes except with fewer layers. I got quite a few admiring stares and plenty of attention but none that moved me enough to actually do anything with.By the. It needed some work and Father showed Roger how to do thebrakes, etc. Dad had become Roger's surrogate Father. That was one ofthe reasons I always thought of him as an older brother.School soon started and my friends were "jealous" of my summer in Italy.Especially when I told them about Marco. I was now a Sophomore and ableto start dating. The boys I knew were as flirty as ever but, no oneasked me out. At first, I put it off thinking that they were too nervousand shy. Most of my friends had boyfriends. They tried to set me up acouple of times but, couldn't find any guys interested in me. To a 15-year-old, to be rejected was close to the same as dying. I startedthinking that because of the sports I played, maybe I was being too muchof a jock. So, I stopped playing sports and concentrated on running.I was very depressed. But, I found that running helped me to, at leasttemporarily, deal with my depression. Every day after school, I wouldrun at least 2 miles on our High School Track..
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