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I once again pushed my true nature aside letting it fester under the surface.I can’t honestly say that I wasn’t happy with Butch my second husband because that would be lying. He was my soul mate. He made me happy and taking care of him calmed my submissive side enough to make things work between us. When he got sick it was devastating and his death has forever changed me. Changed me for the better because now I am determined not to live my life unsatisfied.I was lost and searching for something when You came into my life. My deep dark secret that I had buried for all those years had started to haunt me in my dreams. I was looking for someone to teach me, to mold me, to unlock the door that had been locked for so very long. When You reached out to me and gave me an open opportunity to explore this hidden desire it was what I had been waiting for seems like all my life. So many times over the last year I have wanted, no needed to feel the way You made me feel that day You had me. The thought of graduation reminded me once again why I was here in these woods and my ire rose. Damn art requirement and damn counselor who had realized I was missing it! I hate art. I can’t even draw stick figures well for goodness sake. I had figured my safest route was a class called ‘Art in Nature’. I love nature…plus it was reported to be a fluff class, easy A. As fate would have it, the professor I was expecting was replaced at the last minute. This was no longer a fluff class and I was just skating through by the skin of my teeth. The only thing saving me were things like learning to make paper from natural ingredients and learning to press and dry flowers and plants. Now we were on a scavenger hunt/hike through the woods with a partner looking for plants from a list we had been handed as we left the bus. I was pretty much a loner. I had never liked working with a partner, ever. They only ever slowed me down. This time my partner would not slow me down but promised to.
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