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However after sex, they always dress on their own.Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.SIMPLE TRUTH #2When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats".But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated."the Five Rules to Remember in Life1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.AND A BONUS RULE:6. Condoms do not guarantee safe sex;A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!This one is compliments of johnRamblings of a Retired MindI found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells. We were there for them when they needed us. The problem was, we weren't there for each other.When I tried to cuddle up to her at night she would actually tell me she didn't like sex anymore. I wasn't sure what the hell to do. I had just turned forty and the kids were in the last years of high school. Our oldest daughter Kelly was ready to start college.It was then I did something really stupid. I had a short-term affair with a woman I met. The odd thing was, she looked like my wife but was ten years younger. Her age had nothing to do with the affair, but I think the attraction did. It went on for about a month. Her husband had been in prison for over a year. She did have a daughter who was thirteen, that I met, but she just thought I was the insurance man, which I was.In the beginning we just talked, and she told me about her situation and I was telling her about mine. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing. In the next couple of visits, she let me feel her up and finger.
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