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All right. I knew these months were gone, and that I hadn't been around to experience anything that had happened during them.Seeing Derek, I experienced that information on an entirely different level. I saw, for the first time, what my disappearance had cost me. Thirty two months lost forever to me from the lives of all my children and my wives, from my parents and all my friends. They were gone, and I'd never get them back again. This is what I'd lost, and it became my motivating force to ensure that I'd never suffer such a loss again.What can I say about that first visit? It was glorious, and it was maddening. I drank all of them in, and I wilted from the looks of uncertainty and the tentative untrusting conversations I had with each of them. Even Joyce seemed withdrawn and distant from me. I'd been warned by the doctor that there would be residual resentment and mistrust. I knew some of the problems that had occurred because of my other identity's previous actions and words. I. He worked night shift, which didn't bother her most of the time, but every so often there were mornings she wished he was awake and could cheer her up. Being the only person awake in the house, she got bored ... and boredom usually meant masturbation. She considered her collection of toys, smiling at the achievement of sexual freedom after so many years of shyness, blushing and running from her sexual needs.Although she had always been shy and quiet, she wasn't always the good girl people expected. Her straight, mouse-brown hair, coke-bottle glasses (now much thinner, thanks to polycarbonate lenses!), and modest clothing gave the impression of a polite, utterly restrained young woman and her demeanor around strangers and co-workers certainly told the same tale. She was smart, and imaginative, and utterly straight-laced. Or so they thought ... if only they knew.When Susanna was younger she liked to play out little scenes in her imagination. Mostly they were the kinds of things every.
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