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The wee boy says “Thank you dad” and his dad says “No worries Alan, glad to help”I’ve been back to the doc again. I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.He says I have Feefiphobia.“Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space.”Terrible joke. Only three stars.Scene: costume partyA: what are you dressed as?B: can’t you tell, I’m a harp!A: your costume is too small to be a harp...B: calling me a lyre?!Bloke goes to a costume party, stark naked, painted green with his girlfriend on his back. Someone asks ‘what are you supposed to be?’, he replies ‘I’m a tortoise’. ‘What about her?’, he replies... ‘that’s Michelle’I told my doctor that when I travel from country to country I have the urge to get drunk. She told me I’m a borderline alcoholic.A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man. We talked about you being my first lover and everything.”I said, “Wow! Really! Your mother did all of that with you?”Audrey said, “Yes daddy! Like I said, I can help you with this.”Then Audrey pushed me back on my bed and I sat down. She pushed on my chest and I lay back flat. Finally she climbed up on my lap but it was nothing like she had just done in my recliner out in the family room. This time when my cock slipped up between her legs she slipped it right into her vagina. I was in no condition to argue with her about it either. As she slipped her tight little pussy down over my shaft a tear came to my eye. God I missed my wife but my oldest daughter was there for me. Soon she had adjusted to my cock being in her and she was using me like she had used the one her mother had bought her, fast and furious. I placed my hands on her hips and helped to get her into a more gentle rhythm. She was stroking my chest with her hands as she rode my cock so I raised my hands up to her breasts..
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