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"Hi, Mom," I said."Anything cool at school today?" My mother asked. "Did you get intoHarvard? Yale?" No, Mom." So what's new, champ?" my father asked. "Did you invent a cure fordandruff?" Ha," I said. "No, Dad. Nothing like that." Well, something had to have happened," my mother said. "I can see iton your face." Well, it kind of did. You remember those aptitude tests we took a fewweeks ago? They came back." Yeah? What did they say? Are you a pro quarterback? A male model? Aspace pirate?" No," I said. "This test is bogus, Dad. It said I'm .... I'm a maid." A maid?" My mother asked."Yeah," I said, expecting her to rush to my defense. She was, afterall, my mother."So does this mean you finally clean your room?" she said, giggling."Mom!" I said."The hell with just his room," my father said. "How about the wholedamn kitchen?" You know, this works out perfectly for me," my mother added. "We'rehaving the Connors over for dinner Saturday night. Barry can help withthat. He can serve." That'll. It's wonderful how women need so many differentoutfits, how they -- WE, Tracy wants me to say 'we women' -- we'reexpected to dress according to occasion and mood and style andseason. It's endless. I love it, it's like a marvelous game Oh,I'm reminded Eileen, Tracy told me to be sure to thank you for allyour help, all those shopping hints, and the lessons in femininebehavior, for teaching me all sorts of things when she couldn't,when she had to be at work. Also for agreeing to tonight. So,thank you." You're very welcome, Kim. That's sweet of her to remind you andsweet of you to remember. Tracy and I have been best friends eversince I don't know when, and I've always thought you two were anideal couple, so I'd do anything for the both of you. So there'snothing to thank me for, really, it's been my pleasure. But youstill haven't answered my question. You've been to restaurantslike this before with Tracy, and dressed as fashionably, and I knowshe sends you out around town by.
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