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I felt those old feeling from when I was young in a house of women. Then I would crave some attention from them and fantasized at night that I was a girl instead of their dumb brother.On Friday, a big package arrived for me. This did spark a slight interest with my mom, but I told her it was some books I bought on ebay.My hands shook as I opened the package. A note in it told me to wear the contents when I met Sandy at her clothes shop that afternoon. It went on to tell me how much she missed me and that they wanted me to come live with them.Inside were three disposable diapers and a snap front pair of pink plastic pants. I was to wear one diaper and bring the others in the shoulder bag provided. I pulled out a pair of black pants and moaned. I couldn't wear these outside. They were obviously women's pants since they zipped on the right side hip. Lucky for me, Sandy provided a long top that didn't look too feminine and could hide the side zipper. For my feet, I was to wear ruffled. The President has authorized me to purchase Nauru from you for forty-eight billion, nine–hundred and forty million dollars."Carl, you have no debt on Nauru, so other than out of pocket expenditures, you will walk with over forty-eight billion dollars in cash. We will nationalize the bank and use it to finance agriculture and cattle expansion on Nauru and will maintain a steady three percent interest rate on any private business ventures the natives wish to embark upon."Part of the rush in all this is that the State Department is concerned that you have built a great big target for neighboring islands to try and take by force. As a US Protectorate, Nauru will not be in danger of any expansionist policies by an island nation, whether they are acting on behalf of China, or not."We think that the pirate attack was a kind of test to see if you would even raise a defense, or stand down and let the island be taken away. Now that your enemies can see your determined stance on homeland.
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