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“Happy unbirthday, Wendy,” I said.“Goof! My birthday was last May,” Wendy said.“I know, it’s your UN birthday.”She unwrapped an emerald green purse ... identical to the broken one.“Oh god, David,” she sniffed new leather and cried. That called for a hug.“I know you loved that purse so I found one on the ‘Net,” I said. “The last one made.”“Thank you thank you thank you. I’ll just chance my junk,” and she dumped the old one out on the table. Quarters rolled off on the floor.I sat down and started stacking money.“I was just going to sweep it all into the new one,” she said.“You need to get rid of useless junk,” I said.“Okay,” Wendy said and sat. She went through paper and I stacked coins.“Be right back,” I said.Wendy never even looked up. She just waved me away.I keep coin tubes and had a mess of them. I rolled pennies, nickels and dimes for 20 minutes. Then I went after the quarters.“Wendy,” I said.She was reading a dog-eared list from the last century. “What?”“There’s two hundred and. Then his roommate comes in and we have to act like it’s the first time we have met! So the NY guy hangs around for a while which was making me kind of uncomfortable and he keeps staring at me. When the guy I liked would turn away, the NY guy would stick his tongue out or show me his middle finger and wiggle it. I was like ‘this guy was so cool before. He was acting so concerned about his roommate’s feelings, etc’. “So the guy that I was digging left the room for some reason. I was like ‘OH NO, please don’t leave me with this NY guy!” So the NY guy says ‘When can I fuck you again?’. I said ‘hey, the last time you fucked me, you did not even recognize me the next day. And can we please not talk about this right now?’. He said ‘Cmon, I know that you love to fuck. I just want to fuck you again’. Then the NY guy said “Cmon, I know that Pedro has been fucking you!’. I said ‘he fucked me once! Just like you!’. And he said ‘Pedro told me that you gave him a blow job?. How.
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