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I have read and heard that young menfantasize about married women a lot. And of coursewomen have their little evil thoughts about younger menfrom time to time. This is a story about my 50th birthday present. Yesover the years I had always joked with my husband thatfor my 50th I wanted a young stud as a present. (Yesfor sex!) He had always joked that I could not handleone when I got to be 50 years of age. Well, it was amonth or so before my 50th birthday and Sam asked mewhat I would like to have and I smiled and responded,“You know what I want. I have always said I wanted ayoung stud,” and giggled. Sam looked at me and responded, “You are joking, areyou not? I will get you one but bet you would notreally do it.” I looked at him with a shy evil smile, and said, “Tryme honey. I will show you how your sexy wife can handleone.”“OK, I accept your dare. You can’t back out now. I amgoing to show you. You have pushed me too far thistime. Just. I’ll talk to him.’“Listen to me when I tell you this: we’re all gay; it’s just to what extent are you gay.”He goes, “That’s bullshit. I ain’t gay at all.”I’m like, “Yeah you are, and I’ll prove it to you.”He goes, “Fine. Prove it.”I’m like, “Alright. Do you like porn?”He goes, “Yeah, I love porn. You know that.”I’m like, “Do you only watch scenes with two women together?”“No, I watch a man and a woman making love.”“Do you like the guy to have a small, half-flaccid penis?”He goes, “No, I like big, hard, throbbing cocks.”“Why are you a vegetarian?” I asked him. And it wasn’t even because meat is bad for you.He said that “raising cattle was bad for the planet -- with cow flatulence in the ozone and the clearing of land for the raising of cattle. What are you doing to help the environment?”“I’m eating the cow.”On Deer Hunting:If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet’s moving too fast.Slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it -- the deer.
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