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Then something broke inside her, I think, and she just sobbed uncontrollably. I sat up next to her and like the previous evening on the sofa just pulled her across my lap and held her and let her cry her heart out. Over the next hour I was able to put together some pieces of the puzzle between her heart wrenching tears. There was a gunshot, her mother screamed, her father slumped to the floor and the men grabbed her, put a cloth over her mouth that smelled funny and then all was black. When she woke up there was a nice lady with her to tell her she was safe now in the custody of the U. S. government. The lady told her that there had been an attempt to kidnap her but American officers had broken up the attempt and that she was safe now. The lady didn’t seem to know what had happened to her parents, and then they flew to Seattle. After two days in the hotel the lady – Sally, she said her name was – had let her know gently that her parents were both dead. Later Sally brought a notebook. I'm comfortable with my body; how could I be otherwise? And if I were tohave a sex change - which I won't ? it would be to enhance - to modify -my body, not to change it into a new and different body. Look, you don'tsay to someone who's had a nose job that now she's a "new person", in a"new body", do you?" So, you're a transvestite, then?" Dr. Mora probed."No! No! You don't understand, do you? I'm just me! Just me. In someways I wish I were female, yes, that's true. It's true, damn it! Butthen, Pam often wishes she were rich, and sometimes she even wishes shewas Italian, for God's sake. It's normal to sometimes want to bedifferent than we are, isn't it? What is the big deal? If it doesn'tinterfere with one's life, what's the big deal?" Maybe we don't see this as clearly as you do, Michelle," Dr. Mora said."Please relax. Now, tell us, how would you best describe yourself:transvestite or transsexual?" Neither! I absolutely refuse to go there. Can't you see? I sometimes,oftentimes, wish.
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