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I took a shower when I got home from diving practice. He came around 5:45 and I had no choice, I had to answer the door in my lack of clothing. I was only wearing a pair of shorts when he came. I wouldn't consider myself 'ripped,' but I had some muscle under my geeky, nerdy exterior. He seemed to like how I looked. I was strong enough for Kevin to notice and check me out a little. Not blatantly, just slightly, enough for me to see his eyes wandering over me. "I'll be right back," I told him, "I'm gonna go put on a shirt." I saw as his eyes slightly turn to disappointment. "I'll be here." I ran upstairs to put on a shirt. I thought about if I saw him right, 'was he really disappointed that I'm putting on a shirt?' I threw on my favorite t-shirt and went back downstairs. He was sitting in the family room when I got down there. His book was out and he had a cute smile on his face. I went over to him and started talking to him, we laughed a little bit while we talked. We decided after. ”“What do you mean, up to me?”“Making love. It’s up to you.”“But ... wait! I don’t get it. What about Jennifer?”“She told me to do it.”“Now I’m totally confused,” she said, sounding exasperated.“Me too,” I said. “Let me try to explain. This all started with Birgit. I told you how after she and I made love and she went home, she told me to basically experience life to its fullest. She wanted me to date, even to fall in love. To know beyond any doubt that when we were together that’s what I wanted. That I could make an exclusive, life-long commitment to her with no hesitations or reservations.“It’s really smart, actually. If I simply avoided relationships and saved myself for her for ten years, I would never grow, never learn, and never experience the things that I needed to in order to give myself utterly and completely to her. She’s dating as well, but I get the feeling she’s made up her mind to not have sex, at least for now.“I don’t claim to understand her, but maybe girls handle it.
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