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But every day he drove my humanity further and further out of me. I think it was two years he spent training me. That's my guess. I had no idea the date. At first, it would just be constant rape sessions, where dozens of men would take their turns on me all day long. At first I couldn't stand it. But those men were rough, torturous, and at the end of the day, I needed affection. After they took turns on me, one after another, my trainer came in, patted me on the head, and said, "Good girl." Then he led me back to my cage.At first, I found the "Good girl" just the icing on the cake, a final bit of patronizing on top of the torture. Then I began to tolerate it, then appreciate...then live for it. I needed approval. It was all I had.After some months, he stopped taking me out of my cage. One day, he just stopped. I didn't know why at the time. He wouldn't even look at me. He'd pass by my cage a few times a day, but not even acknowledge me. Why won't he talk to me? Why can't I be called a. "What's the matter, man? You want me to kiss you goodbye?" he said with abit of a smirk.I rolled my eyes, "No, I just... I don't know I'm just kind of freakingout, you know?"And I was freaking out. I suddenly didn't want to leave Dev. I felt like Iwas desperate to stay with him and I wanted him to want me the same way."I know, man. You're going through a lot of shit right now, I get it. Allyou can think about is getting fucked, isn't it?" he said as if it wasobvious."Yeah, but, I mean, I don't know what's happening to me. It's like..." It's okay man, I do know what's happening to you. You're gay. You wereborn to get fucked, and fucked good. I've never seen anyone take cock likeyou." He said softly as he looked me straight in the eye. "You're gonnaneed to get fucked now, but I can't be dickin' you down everyday, you knowwhat I'm sayin'?"It wasn't a conscious thought in my mind, but the implications of his wordswere understood deep down in my soul; I was gay, I needed to get fucked.
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