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Down the yellow brick road my preferred personal pronouns are "she" and"her" and those that want to interview me again know how to use pronounsproperly. I found out that Diana had read some of my previousinterviews and knew all about me. She said if I wanted the exclusiveinterview with her I would have to sit down and let her do my face.After I tried to persuade her to relent and Diana said, "No make up, nointerview Charlie."I was silent then as I did as I was told as I didn't want to mess up onmy big break. I had never experienced having makeup put on my facebefore and I was silent throughout the process leading Diana to say "Allmy sheep have gone astray, Charlie. You know you are like a sheepbefore the shearer darling. You Christians like sheep don't you?"I nodded. There were lots of dull sermons I had sat/slept through aboutsheep.After Diana had finished applying the make up it she told me to smilefor the camerawoman from our paper as Diana started putting my lipstickon. I. The phone rang, with caller ID showing that it was Uncle Lech. Vladic had once, and only once, called him Uncle Condom, but after that misunderstanding had been sorted out they had had a fine relationship. Vladic picked up the phone looking forward to speaking to him."Hello, Uncle Lech! How are you?" He said.A long pause greeted him, followed by a deep inward breath."Vladic. There is no easy way to tell you this. Last night my mother Sofia was murdered." Uncle Lech replied.Uncle Lech filled his shocked silence with a teary recitation of what information was available. Grandma Sofia had gone to the local Chinese takeout place to pick up a dinner for her and some of the other local neighborhood watch ladies for a planning session they were having at her house. When she went outside to her car she was confronted by five young men who began angrily shouting at her, accusing her of interfering with their business and causing them trouble with the police. She had given as good as she got,.
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